Oh well! Shit happens
Nothing goes as planned
Everything will break
People say goodbye
In their own special way
All that you can rely on
And all that you could fake
Will leave you in the morning
Come find you in the day
Oh, you’re in my veins, and I cannot get you out
Oh, you’re all I taste, at night inside of my mouth
Oh, you run away, cause I am not what you found
Oh, you’re in my veins, and I cannot get you out
Everything will changed
Nothing stays the same
Nobody is perfect
Oh, but everyone is to blame
All that you rely on
And all that you can save
Will leave you in the morning
Will find you in the day
Oh, you’re in my veins, and I cannot get you out
Oh, you’re all I taste, at night inside of my mouth
Oh, you run away, cause I am not what you found
Oh, you’re in my veins, and I cannot get you out
No I cannot get you out
No I cannot get you out
Oh no, I cannot get you out
No I cannot get you out
Everything is dark
It’s more than you could take
But you catch a glimpse of sunlight
Shining
Shining down on your face
Your face
On your face
Oh, you’re in my veins, and I cannot get you out
Oh, you’re all I taste, at night inside of my mouth
Oh, you run away, cause I am not what you found
Oh, you’re in my veins, and I cannot get you out
No, i cannot get you out
No, i cannot get you out...
Oh no, I cannot get you...
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Casually numb
Is this "love means nothing" in tennis supposed to be cute or just dorky? I don't know but it's stuck in my head from the that stupid commercial.
It's been a long time. We haven't talked. I haven't written here. You have been checking it or if you have, you've become disappointed by seeing the same content. I miss our conversations, about films and things like that.
Kind of feel scared and hopeless with this script. I want it so badly to be materialized and turned into the vision I have in mind but it's too big of a project to undergo and too risky for asking people who would be interested to be involved - those who will want to travel home - I am feeling frustrated because of my inability in finishing it perfectly in a way that no one could say no to it. I can feel it so badly that it has a very good potential for something great. It is a story that should be told; leaving it untold would be a crime. Uh! It feels so numb, this moment, so casually numb.
Is this "love means nothing" in tennis supposed to be cute or just dorky? I don't know but it's stuck in my head from the that stupid commercial.
It's been a long time. We haven't talked. I haven't written here. You have been checking it or if you have, you've become disappointed by seeing the same content. I miss our conversations, about films and things like that.
Kind of feel scared and hopeless with this script. I want it so badly to be materialized and turned into the vision I have in mind but it's too big of a project to undergo and too risky for asking people who would be interested to be involved - those who will want to travel home - I am feeling frustrated because of my inability in finishing it perfectly in a way that no one could say no to it. I can feel it so badly that it has a very good potential for something great. It is a story that should be told; leaving it untold would be a crime. Uh! It feels so numb, this moment, so casually numb.
Saturday, August 07, 2010
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
They both "recommend" things every second as if I am still their 7 year old kid.
I was thinking how come I am so angry inside, around them all the time even at vulnerable times like this, that they should be my safety zone and they should have refuge for me but no, it's all frustration in my head and agony in my heart. Ever Since I was able to understand the Commands and the Orders 'till I turned 18 and rebelled it was times of suppression and parental tyranny. Everything had to be done according to their instructions and orders and they had one for every single moment of those year, even orders how to hold a cup of tea. This was in the dark years of 60s that my generation was being suppressed at school and society as well. It was 16 hours of constant suffering for me when I was awake in school or in the streets or at home and 8 hours of nightmares, 365 days a year for 14 year; the best years of a human beings life when one should have no responsibilities of adults world and feel liberated and happy.
She came up with her old trick last night to scare me with his hearth condition and how drinking has endangered his life, right at the moment he went to the bathroom. I knew what she was doing and has been doing over and over through out the years. "How come you tell me things like this about him only when he is absent; this happening all the time." I asked. She blushed while was caught off guard; responded in a way as if I had offended her with the question. She tried another avenue, she said "You've always denied my Motherhood Right". It even made me more furious. "What Motherhood Right?" I ask. "Motherhood is supposed to be comfort and peacefulness not the opposite in a very invasive way. Victimizing yourself will not work on me anymore." Then he comes out of the bathroom and there it goes, the big confrontation: Dad! Because I know mom doesn't like you to drink at all I've never offered you any beers or other alcoholic beverages unless you've asked me and as your host I would never say no. So has drinking beer here and there in last few weeks bothered your heart or harmed you at all?
He turns to her immediately and says no, not at all. The thing is your mom doesn't want me to drink that's why she relates thing to one another and jumps into irrelevant conclusions.
"Please fix your differences on this drinking disagreement between the two of you and leave me the fuck out of it." I snapped and stopped right there.
Being disconnected from them and trying so hard in last few years to fix the broken connection and failing over and over is one thing that I gotten over it eventually. I just want this 9 weeks to be over soon while I try so hard to make this the vacation of their lives.
I was thinking how come I am so angry inside, around them all the time even at vulnerable times like this, that they should be my safety zone and they should have refuge for me but no, it's all frustration in my head and agony in my heart. Ever Since I was able to understand the Commands and the Orders 'till I turned 18 and rebelled it was times of suppression and parental tyranny. Everything had to be done according to their instructions and orders and they had one for every single moment of those year, even orders how to hold a cup of tea. This was in the dark years of 60s that my generation was being suppressed at school and society as well. It was 16 hours of constant suffering for me when I was awake in school or in the streets or at home and 8 hours of nightmares, 365 days a year for 14 year; the best years of a human beings life when one should have no responsibilities of adults world and feel liberated and happy.
She came up with her old trick last night to scare me with his hearth condition and how drinking has endangered his life, right at the moment he went to the bathroom. I knew what she was doing and has been doing over and over through out the years. "How come you tell me things like this about him only when he is absent; this happening all the time." I asked. She blushed while was caught off guard; responded in a way as if I had offended her with the question. She tried another avenue, she said "You've always denied my Motherhood Right". It even made me more furious. "What Motherhood Right?" I ask. "Motherhood is supposed to be comfort and peacefulness not the opposite in a very invasive way. Victimizing yourself will not work on me anymore." Then he comes out of the bathroom and there it goes, the big confrontation: Dad! Because I know mom doesn't like you to drink at all I've never offered you any beers or other alcoholic beverages unless you've asked me and as your host I would never say no. So has drinking beer here and there in last few weeks bothered your heart or harmed you at all?
He turns to her immediately and says no, not at all. The thing is your mom doesn't want me to drink that's why she relates thing to one another and jumps into irrelevant conclusions.
"Please fix your differences on this drinking disagreement between the two of you and leave me the fuck out of it." I snapped and stopped right there.
Being disconnected from them and trying so hard in last few years to fix the broken connection and failing over and over is one thing that I gotten over it eventually. I just want this 9 weeks to be over soon while I try so hard to make this the vacation of their lives.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Sunday, May 09, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Up in the air
Walter Kirn created Ryan Bingham of Up in the air and Jason Reitman rendered him perfectly. In one of Ryan's public presentations he says "Make no mistake your relationships are the heaviest components in your life." Perhaps he never realized the true meaning of that 'till the moment the Captain in the middle of the flight asked him "Where are you from?". With a profoundly sad voice says Ryan "I am from here" which is no where but up in the air.
They say mortgages, car loans, credit card balances etc, they all chain us down and commit us to banks and all sorts of financial institutes but the truth is we can always pay them off and leave or just give up everything, kiss goodbye a good credit and walk away; it won't scar our souls, but we can't just easily walk away from our relationships, even if we do (for no good reason) it'll come back to us and haunt us. Parents, siblings, love partners or friends are those who keep us responsible in the relationships. We are the balloon and they are the ones who hold the thread. We always flow over their heads even if life distracts them from checking on us once in a while, soon they will turn their head and check on the balloon.
Walter Kirn created Ryan Bingham of Up in the air and Jason Reitman rendered him perfectly. In one of Ryan's public presentations he says "Make no mistake your relationships are the heaviest components in your life." Perhaps he never realized the true meaning of that 'till the moment the Captain in the middle of the flight asked him "Where are you from?". With a profoundly sad voice says Ryan "I am from here" which is no where but up in the air.
They say mortgages, car loans, credit card balances etc, they all chain us down and commit us to banks and all sorts of financial institutes but the truth is we can always pay them off and leave or just give up everything, kiss goodbye a good credit and walk away; it won't scar our souls, but we can't just easily walk away from our relationships, even if we do (for no good reason) it'll come back to us and haunt us. Parents, siblings, love partners or friends are those who keep us responsible in the relationships. We are the balloon and they are the ones who hold the thread. We always flow over their heads even if life distracts them from checking on us once in a while, soon they will turn their head and check on the balloon.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
Other Side of The World - KT Tunstall
Over the sea and far away
She's waiting like an Iceberg
Waiting to change,
But she's cold inside
She wants to be like
the water,
All the muscles tighten in her face
Buries her soul in one embrace
They're one and the same
Just like water
Then the fire fades away
But most of everyday
Is full of tired excuses
But it's too hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You're close enough to see that
You're.... the other side of the world
to me
On comes the panic light
Holding on with fingers
and feelings alike
But the time has come
To move along
Then the fire fades away
But most of everyday
Is full of tired excuses
But it's too hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You're close enough to see that
You're.... the other side of the world
Can you help me?
Can you let me go
And can you still love me
When you can't see me anymore
Then the fire fades away
most of everyday
Is full of tired excuses
But it's too hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You're close enough to see that
You're.... the other side of the world
Ohh.... the other side of the world
You're.... the other side of the world
To me.
Over the sea and far away
She's waiting like an Iceberg
Waiting to change,
But she's cold inside
She wants to be like
the water,
All the muscles tighten in her face
Buries her soul in one embrace
They're one and the same
Just like water
Then the fire fades away
But most of everyday
Is full of tired excuses
But it's too hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You're close enough to see that
You're.... the other side of the world
to me
On comes the panic light
Holding on with fingers
and feelings alike
But the time has come
To move along
Then the fire fades away
But most of everyday
Is full of tired excuses
But it's too hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You're close enough to see that
You're.... the other side of the world
Can you help me?
Can you let me go
And can you still love me
When you can't see me anymore
Then the fire fades away
most of everyday
Is full of tired excuses
But it's too hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You're close enough to see that
You're.... the other side of the world
Ohh.... the other side of the world
You're.... the other side of the world
To me.
Monday, January 04, 2010
Joe Blow or Joe Shmoe
No one thinks they are average Joe, not even average Joe. That term is a myth to everybody, a myth that exists truely but it's not visible to anybody. If I live an adventureless life, if I have a steady 9 to 5 office job with a medium size mortgate and an ordinary Japenese sedan and spend my week days at work and and home after work and eat my dinner in front of the TV and pay my taxes and shovel my driveway to avoid any law suits and forget to vote and pretend I know where Belize is located when I hear it from a colleague; if I am all of the above despite the fact that I refuse to be, I must be the average Joe. If I am not then who is? We all think there is something extraordinary about us even if it's not revealed or discovered yet. There is always a dream of an extraordinary version of us as individuals that has not happened yet but it potentially could happen, therefore none of us can be average Joe.
No one thinks they are average Joe, not even average Joe. That term is a myth to everybody, a myth that exists truely but it's not visible to anybody. If I live an adventureless life, if I have a steady 9 to 5 office job with a medium size mortgate and an ordinary Japenese sedan and spend my week days at work and and home after work and eat my dinner in front of the TV and pay my taxes and shovel my driveway to avoid any law suits and forget to vote and pretend I know where Belize is located when I hear it from a colleague; if I am all of the above despite the fact that I refuse to be, I must be the average Joe. If I am not then who is? We all think there is something extraordinary about us even if it's not revealed or discovered yet. There is always a dream of an extraordinary version of us as individuals that has not happened yet but it potentially could happen, therefore none of us can be average Joe.
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