Self off the shelf

Sleep deficit, confusion, raw emotions, pleasant surprises, unbearable occasional selfishness of the sexual partner and her unpleasant passiveness in many aspects and yet her craving for attention, and all don't leave any space for creativity and being with self. I've been away from myself and my thoughts and still feel lonely. Whatever it is, it's quite indefinable, not that I am trying to define a relationship, because this bizarre interaction between her and I (I can't even use "us" to describe this party of two) can not even be considered as any kind of relationships. I need to reset my mind. I wish she wasn't here anymore because she consumes me but she's not with me.