patterns and patterns again
We've heard and read zillion times about patterns in relationships, patterns in break ups, patterns in finding the right ones and the wrong ones, yet most of us deny having our own patterns, while our lives flow into these patterns unconsciously and form the exact same shapes over and over. Three years ago, in my last break up I was way down for 3 months, all of a sudden I got sick of myself and turned into exercising and paying attention to my body. This time, I got sick of being down for 4 days (which is a big improvement comparing to 3 months; can we say I am growing up?) and started heavy exercise and home projects.
The thing I hate about break ups is that, to avoid remembering the "ex" -- this is the first time that I call her "ex", it doesn't sound good, it feels so cold and sad -- I boycott whatever reminds me of her, like songs, places etc. As if I fast her and her memories, because I know if I don't, eventually I will break down and will think about getting back together for wrong reasons; while most of those songs and places and things are my all time favorites, I love them. I have to fast 'till I get over her. Break ups suck.
Sunday, July 11, 2004
Monday, July 05, 2004
Slices of nothing
Writing is a relief and thank the Edison of weblog who made writing so accessible to ordinary hands. I am saying writing is a relief for me, because in times like this, when there is no one around to hear you yak without analyzing your words or be wise with you when unnecessary; or when your girl friend is not around or her mom is in town and you can't whisper things to her ears, then you asylum to writing, writing about everything and nothing, writing about slices of life, your life, my life or life of a pedestrian who is just a pleasant stranger to you and means nothing to you but impulsive eye contact which lasts only a blink and half. Here is a slice of my life today, boring may be, but true:
Came back from work; had heart burn, had it since early afternoon; craved for a glass of milk and dates; noticed one missed call from F.; called her, flirted with her like I flirt with my girl friend -- 'cuz F. is my girl friend; sort of complained and nagged about how she's neglected me since her mom came to town -- her town not mine/we live in different time zones; exchanged a couple of "tele-phonny" kisses, said I love you, heard I love you back, hung up; laid back on the coach in front of Friends; released couple of real laughters because of Joey; flipped the channels; fell in sleep during flipping; woke up one hour later starving; warmed up left overs; ate like a perfect modern human being in front of the TV; went to the back yard; chatted a little bit with the lazy guy in the basement and returned him 50 bucks; told him count it twice before handing over your rent; came back inside; watched Seinfeld, Friends, Sex and the city; Got sick of myself and TV; grabbed the laptop; logged into Blogger as SlicesOfLife; paused while looking at the ceiling; started writing like this: "Writing is a relief..."
Writing is a relief and thank the Edison of weblog who made writing so accessible to ordinary hands. I am saying writing is a relief for me, because in times like this, when there is no one around to hear you yak without analyzing your words or be wise with you when unnecessary; or when your girl friend is not around or her mom is in town and you can't whisper things to her ears, then you asylum to writing, writing about everything and nothing, writing about slices of life, your life, my life or life of a pedestrian who is just a pleasant stranger to you and means nothing to you but impulsive eye contact which lasts only a blink and half. Here is a slice of my life today, boring may be, but true:
Came back from work; had heart burn, had it since early afternoon; craved for a glass of milk and dates; noticed one missed call from F.; called her, flirted with her like I flirt with my girl friend -- 'cuz F. is my girl friend; sort of complained and nagged about how she's neglected me since her mom came to town -- her town not mine/we live in different time zones; exchanged a couple of "tele-phonny" kisses, said I love you, heard I love you back, hung up; laid back on the coach in front of Friends; released couple of real laughters because of Joey; flipped the channels; fell in sleep during flipping; woke up one hour later starving; warmed up left overs; ate like a perfect modern human being in front of the TV; went to the back yard; chatted a little bit with the lazy guy in the basement and returned him 50 bucks; told him count it twice before handing over your rent; came back inside; watched Seinfeld, Friends, Sex and the city; Got sick of myself and TV; grabbed the laptop; logged into Blogger as SlicesOfLife; paused while looking at the ceiling; started writing like this: "Writing is a relief..."
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