Simply complicated

Could you hold me for a moment,
'cause I am falling,
'cause I am cold,
'cause I am scared.


How does it happen? How do we fall in love? Do we jump into it intentionally? What do I know about you other than your pretty pretty face; the smell of your hair, the enchanting smile of yours or your magnetic eyes. I know nothing about you. I don't know what is your favorite color, your favorite food. I don't know what you do when life sucks, I don't know what kind of music you listen when you miss a friend, I don't know what poet you read when you feel empty. I don't even know if you've ever felt empty at all.
So why do I let it happen? Specially the way I am operating it; all in my head without saying a word to you. Is this just a physical attraction? I don't even know what is it. I can't call it love for sure, because that's not how I define love. Your lot in my mind is deserted. There is nothing build up on it yet; not even a brick or stone, no foundations. There is just this visual image which is getting vague day by day. I wonder I just wanted to avoid or fill my solitude, so I sought someone else's corner and where cozier and dreamier than yours. I wish I knew. I wish you were here.

I am back

It's been so long since last time I wrote in here. I missed it here very much but there was not enough motivation to be here; just like anywhere else, I feel like I haven't been anywhere in last three months. Anyway I am back and I am glad for it.

Things have changed, specially in last few days. I am so exhausted, sleepless and preoccupied. It feels kind of num and good in a way but I wish it was different.